When Cutting the Cake Becomes Chaos instead of Cute
In modern times and at modern weddings, the tradition of cutting and feeding of the cake is a sweet symbol of a couple’s commitment to taking care of each other. Couples often cut from the bottom tier to symbolize the longevity of their marriage. (Side note: In Roman Times, the groom would smash the cake over his bride’s head to symbolize the loss of her purity and the beginning of being submissive to her husband. THANK GOODNESS we have evolved.)
But as sweet as it can be, at some point along the way of my wedding photography career, the cutting of the cake became one of the most stressful reception events to capture.
I have photographed some really sweet and casual cake cuttings but do you know what happens most often? It goes something like this…
The DJ makes an announcement that the couple is going to cut their cake. “Folks, at this time… Lilly and James are going to be cutting their cake! Head on over to the cake table, get your cell phones ready and see if they’ll feed each other nicely or icing will go flying after they slice that gorgeous cake!” Guests hop up from their seats, leave the dance floor, go running towards the cake and promptly push past me, my second shooter and any videographers to stand literally 10” from the cake and the couple. They whip out their cell phones and suddenly I’m fighting for my couple’s attention and the ability to even frame up that photo. My couple cannot hear me giving instructions over Aunt Betsy screaming, “SMASH IT!!! SMASH IT!!!” and her sister, the bride’s mom, cautioning, “No, be nice! Be nice. Don’t mess up her makeup.” I can’t back up far enough to even fit the couple and the cake in my lens so I ask that everyone please take a step back and the only response I get is, “She’s my niece.” Cool? But they’re expecting me to capture this moment.
The couple is confused, the song they requested to play at that moment is already coming to an end and they cannot even pay attention to each other and enjoy the moment because now 75 people have completely surrounded them and are all yelling things like, “Look here, quick!! Let me grab your picture first!!” and “Come on! SMASH IT!”. They cut the cake, they take a bite and within seconds everyone walks away. My couple is left looking at me glassy eyed like… what just happened?
This is the norm with cake cutting at weddings now. Everyone is there for the funny boomerang, the cute video or the grainy, blurry cell phone pic.
While photographers struggle with guests and their cell phones during all parts of the day, guests (and sometimes even the parents of the couple) are completely disrespectful of photographers when it comes to cake cutting.
I wish I had a reason as to why… but after the time I got elbowed in the face by a man with a flip phone after I asked him if he’d mind please taking a step back… I stopped wondering why. It didn’t matter anymore.
I’ve watched cake cuttings be unenjoyable for my couples as well and it doesn’t have to be this way! I wanted to share with you two tricks for making your cake cutting beautiful, stress-free, fun and perfect for photos.
01. Cut your Cake in the Center of the Dance Floor
My absolute favorite cake cuttings happen in the center of the dance floor after all of the guests have been served entrees or have gone through the buffet line? Everyone is seated and eating, they can see the action from their seats and they’ll be able to witness without causing any disruptions. This allows you to create a lovely moment out of your cake cutting while also keeping it peaceful and making your family and friends happy.
02. Have an Unannounced Cake Cutting
The other way I recommend avoiding the chaos that can happen at a cake cutting is to do it unannounced. If you’re going to cut the cake for the ceremonial aspect and for the photos but it’s not overly important to you that your guests watch, you definitely should consider an unannounced cake cutting. At a pre-determined time during your reception, you, your partner will quietly cut the cake in front of your photographer(s) and any videographers without your DJ making any kind of announcement.
Regardless of if you decide to cut your cake in the center of the dance floor or do it completely unannounced, I really recommend having a conversation with your DJ about not encouraging guests to come close to the cake or crowd around to take cell phone photos. I recently worked with a very kind DJ who added “and please be sure to leave room for our talented professional photographers” at the end of his cake cutting announcement which was so thoughtful. But truly, no one was listening.
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