Cashel Mace's Birth Story
Back in May of 2021 I wrote…
“I feel like every birth story needs a preface - to understand the place of mind that the mother is coming from, her backstory, her hopes and her preferences. So bear with me while I explain a bit about what I was hoping for going into Vaila’s birth.”
So just swap Vaila for Cashel and let’s do this again!
We did an embryo transfer when I was 7 months postpartum, it took, we were shocked and felt so lucky. Because of the chosen spacing of these pregnancies and the fact that it was IVF, it did put me again in a high risk category and I was repeatedly informed of the potential complications by multiple providers that I saw throughout my pregnancy.
Admittedly, this pregnancy was significantly more complicated than Vaila’s!
I started out with a lot of bleeding and had my first ultrasound at 5w2d pregnant. That was scary and followed by at least one subchorionic hematoma that stuck around through week 20 and bled on and off, COVID at the end of my second trimester and a broken fibula at 34 weeks. Baby measured large the entire time, I was enormously uncomfortable after week 22ish and being pregnant with a toddler is somethin’ else.
I wasn’t planning anything specific for this birth like last time. Instead of feeling more informed and empowered like a lot of second time moms, I was a lot more like… “whatever happens, happens.”
SIDE NOTE: With Vaila I had been planning for an unmedicated birth (I refuse to call this a natural birth because all birth is natural) but chose an epidural close to transition after receiving a high dose of Pitocin for an unplanned induction due to PROM (premature rupture of membranes). After birthing her with medication, I knew that was best for me for Cashel’s birth as well. How any mom chooses to birth is what is right for her.
My birth plan consisted of:
shortest hospital stay possible
delayed cord clamping until white or as long as possible
epidural when I ask, do not ask me
no counting while pushing, advise me while allowing me to be in control
At 36 weeks I started having contractions on and off all week with no pattern or consistency. They’d come and go, increase in intensity and then fade completely. At my 37 week appointment, I asked to be checked and wasn’t quite 1 cm, 50% effaced. I figured I was in it for the long haul and was planning an induction at 39w1d.
I spent most of my time hanging out with Vaila in the living room while stretching, bouncing on my yoga ball and doing whatever movement I could in the walking boot because of my broken fibula. All of the stretches and movement that I did with my last pregnancy I modified as best as I could in order to do my part in prepping my body and pelvis for labor.
On Monday night, September 19, I had 3 contractions that made me tense up a little bit and were noticeably uncomfortable while we caught up on House of the Dragon before bed. We went to sleep and on Tuesday morning at about 1 AM the contractions woke me up and I decided to time them.
They were coming for about 60 seconds each time but they’d be 9, 16, 12, 5, 8, 6, 10, etc. minutes apart. There was no pattern or consistency though they did seem to be getting stronger. I spent most of the time laying in bed just trying to rest. I was able to talk through them, move around, shower, do my hair, eat a snack and gather some things all while contracting so I was pretty skeptical that it was real labor.
A lot of what birth education will tell you is “real labor” didn’t apply to me so while I knew that I was in pain and deeply uncomfortable I wasn’t confident that contractions wouldn’t just stop at some point!
At 4 am I decided to call the midwife on duty at the hospital and told her I was having strong-ish contractions but they had no pattern to them whatsoever. Knowing it was my second baby and my first labor was only a 12 hour induction, she advised us to come in and see what was going on.
Our bags were already in the car so once my mom came to stay with Vaila we made the 30 minute drive to the hospital and contractions were all over the place but more intense. The last left turn into to the hospital I was just yelling at Kyle that I couldn’t do it. I’ve followed enough birth educators to know that should have been a sign right there! We arrived at about 6:30 AM.
At the hospital, I almost told the registration lady to F right off when she asked me to come sit in the chair and get checked in - I just looked at her crying and said, I can’t. She was not pleased but I did not have the ability to sit there and hand over my insurance card and fill out paperwork. That should have been a sign too but truthfully I was convinced that I was just not coping as well as I’d hoped and planned.
I expected to be in early labor because of the contraction inconsistency and wasn’t hopeful for how the rest of this would go but I knew I wasn’t going home. I really thought they’d tell me I was just now starting to dilate, this was early labor, let’s move you to a room and get you a tub or a ball and I’d be there to labor for many more hours.
When the midwife came in at a little after 7 AM, she must have had a sense of urgency because she just immediately walked in and asked me if I’d consent to a cervical check, no chit chat or pleasantries whatsoever (which is very unlike her!) and she said, “you’re at least a solid 7”.
Kyle and I both said very loudly… SEVEN? No wonder I feel like I’m trapped in some medieval torture device. That’s when my OMFG what if I don’t get an epidural panic??!!?? set in.
I very quickly got a labor room, stood up and swayed through contractions as long as I could, started two huge bags of IV fluids and an electrolyte bolus and waited for the anesthesiologist who was in a c-section. By this point contractions were regular, consistent and powerful. Our nurse helped to remind and encourage me to breathe through the contractions, focus on my exhales and change positions as needed. I spent most of the time standing and leaning on the bed.
When the anesthesiologist did arrive at roughly 8:30 AM, he said that he sensed that time was extremely limited and he wanted to make sure I was dosed up well because time was of the essence and epidurals are not instant. He did not wait for me to be between contractions for placement. So, the epidural I got was VASTLY different than what I had with Vaila. This was really hard to deal with at first physically and mentally. I did not want to deliver on my back. I liked being able to move really freely with help last time without feeling immense pain. With her, I felt the pressure to push, I felt the ability to control my lower body, I moved into a bunch of different positions, etc.
This time, I felt absolutely nothing. The placement of it was high on my torso just below my bra line so for the first few minutes I had blood pressure and heart rate drops and received two doses of epinephrine. Epidurals are gravity based and also not instant so they take about 30 minutes to fully kick in. The first pain sensation that left was the contractions themselves so I spent about 20 of that time napping with a peanut ball before the midwife, Lisa, came in to check in and see what progress I’d made. Still, in my head I had hours left to go with finishing dilation and then pushing. Now I feel both dumb for being so in denial and super proud of myself for making it that far at home, unmedicated.
It was after 9 AM at this point.
Lisa and the nurses helped to position me, remove the peanut ball and then Lisa said without even actually checking me, “you’re complete and we’re about to have a baby”. I looked up at Kyle and was like… right now? Like right now we’re having a baby? Or like can I labor down for an hour before I start the pushing process? HA HA HA
Nope. Three contractions later he was out. 9:28 AM. From the time Lisa walked in the room to when a nurse looked at the clock after he was delivered, it was six minutes.
He had a very short cord so below my bra was the highest they could get him since we asked to delay cord clamping until it was white. He cried almost right away which was wonderful.
I’m still digesting the speed of all of it. From the onset of contractions to basically going through transition in the car (holy hell) to his fast delivery it was all very surprising but I’m so thankful it happened that way! I was moved to maternity/couplet care within 4 hours of arriving and we left the hospital almost exactly 30 hours after walking in.
Our time in couplet care was quiet, the nurses had overwhelmingly positive attitudes and created a happy environment for us and were so supportive of our ask for the shortest stay that schedules and care could allow.
I thought Vaila’s birth was so vastly easier than I had anticipated despite it being an induction. It was very empowering for me after doing IVF and gave me back some trust in my body. Cashel’s birth was an entirely different experience and my mindset was very different going into it but it was so good in every way.
My recovery has been as easy as I could hope for all things considered and we’ve been exceptionally grateful to have my mom here to help for 6 days straight during the day.
He is healthy, sleepy, still very curled up and just a total delight even with his grumpy old man facial expressions. Big sister, Vaila, is absolutely obsessed with “the bébé” and smothers him with kisses, pokes his nose, pats his head and is so excited to see him all the time. Our dog, Butters, has gotten her smells in and adjusted extremely quickly. We are so excited that he’s here and couldn’t imagine waiting 3 more weeks to meet him!
The above photos are by my husband, Kyle, who has photographed the births of both of our babies!
